Healing
by WingsofRain
Summary: / katara & aang / "My words had been bitter, cruel. But I knew I couldn't take them back. No matter how much I wish I could." Post Southern Raiders. Kataang. R&R!


**Welcome to the story everyone :)**

**So, this is my first fanfic in the Avatar archive. Hope my trivial offerings will be sufficient for this lovely community~**

**I got this idea after watching **_**Southern Raiders**_**. There just wasn't enough Kataang in it. :)**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. I don't own Avatar. I wish I did though.**

**Enjoy the story!**

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_H **E** A **L** I **N** G_

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I had done so much damage.

Forcing my retreating feet back to the safety of my tent, I was well aware that Aang and Zuko were watching me, but I pretended not to notice. I could feel their eyes trailing my every step, illuminated by the golden sunset, burning me, throwing my shadow across the field, dark and foreboding.

"_What's going on?"_

"_We're going to find the man who took my mother from me."_

"_Um, and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?"_

"_I knew you wouldn't understand."_

I watched through foreign eyes, deaf and blind, unbelieving that such words had fallen from my tongue with perfect ease, how they had effortlessly stung and burned at the people that I cared for most. The hurt that had been in Aang's gaze followed me, twisted storm clouds that had originally been soft silver bells.

"_Wait, stop, I do understand! You're feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt when I found out the sandbenders took Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?"_

_(I don't know Aang. I don't.)_

How could I have been so careless to have forgotten the pain that everyone else around me had endured?

"_Katara, you sound like Jet."_

_(No, I don't-!)_

My rage had changed me into a monster. Though I had lashed back, made excuses, I knew deep down that he was right. He always had been.

I was so focused in my thoughts that I didn't see Sokka emerge from his tent. A wide smile flashed across his face, but then quickly faltered as he took in my expression.

"Katara, you're back! I was…so worried…"

He didn't get to finish. I hugged my big brother tightly, burying my face in his chest, listening to the beat of his strong heart, pumping the same blood that ran through my own veins.

"_Katara, she was my mother too, but I think Aang might be right."_

"_Then you didn't love her the way I did!"_

"_Katara!"_

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, swallowing the cry that threatened to rip from my throat. I could feel Sokka stroking my hair, a bit hesitantly, but his silence was patient and un-judging for once.

I wish I could take them back. Those words. I wanted nothing more than to take them back.

But it was impossible to do that. Not when the damage was already done.

I pulled away from Sokka's embrace, mumbling something about needing to be alone. My brother gave me one more concerned look, but decided not to question it, and left.

_(Sticks and stones)_

"…Katara?"

Almost there, _almost there_. Turning away from the sight of my tent, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Toph facing me, her blind, clouded eyes looking as if they were searching mine. I wasn't sure what she was looking for, or if she found it, but she soon lowered her head again, forever sightless, and touched my shoulder, gently, understandingly.

"Thank you…Toph…" I whispered shakily, and she nodded, hair obscuring her face. I threw her one more thin, grateful smile that I knew she couldn't see, and fled.

Finally, _finally _reaching my own tent, I lifted the blue flap and crawled inside. I sat curled up on my sleeping bag, feeling the pinprick of tears impatiently pushing against their watery prison. It wasn't until those tears brimmed over their thin veil that I realized how emotionally unstable I was about this whole ordeal.

"_I think this is about getting revenge."_

"_Fine maybe it is! Maybe that's what I need! Maybe that's what he deserves."_

"_The monks used to say that revenge is like a two headed rat viper. While you watch your enemy go down, you're being poisoned yourself."_

"_It's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive."_

"_Katara, she was my mother too, but I think Aang might be right."_

"_Then you didn't love her the way I did!"_

"_Just let her go, and I'll give you the information you want."_

"_Mom, I'm scared…"_

"Katara?"

The sudden transfer from the harsh voices in my head to the real sound of Aang's concerned tone took me by surprise. I lifted my head from my knees for a brief second. My face must have been a mess because Aang recoiled a little when I looked up. I turned quickly away from him, bending the tears from my face onto the ground.

Still facing away from him, I asked, "What is it, Aang?" My throat was hoarse from crying.

I felt Aang kneel down beside me, his movements cautious and slow. I closed my eyes in guilt. I had hurt him so much, and yet, he was still here to comfort me.

He placed his hand on my shoulder. Unconsciously, I leaned into his warm touch, surprised to find myself craving for his company. We were both silent for a moment, and when he finally spoke, his voice was warm and gentle.

"I'm really proud of what you did, you know."

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. "I don't know anymore Aang. I just, don't know what to feel."

He smiled sympathetically, sitting down cross-legged beside me. He didn't speak, and for some reason, his silence opened my floodgate.

"I-I mean…I don't even know why I stopped. I _wanted_ to do it – _so much_ I wanted to do it - I wanted to destroy him, to see him fall to pieces in front of me. But when the time came, I-I just _couldn't_. It was almost like my Waterbending stopped working. And then that gave me a brief second to realize what I was doing…and I _stopped_. And now, part of me is glad that I was able to control myself when I did, while the other part wishes that I had been strong enough to just kill him."

The word _kill_ came out harsher than I expected, grating against my teeth. I saw Aang cringe from the blatant hardness in my tone.

My face softened as the passing wave of rage evaporated. "I-I'm sorry Aang. These past few days have been tough on me."

Aang hurriedly wiped the look on his face and replaced it with a gentle smile. "Katara, it's ok. Just let out your feelings. I want to help you through this."

A hard lump came to my throat, choking off the words I was about to say. A brush of warmth caressed my cheek. I wiped away the stray tear hastily. Why was I crying again?

Aang shuffled closer to me, holding out his arms in an expression of comfort.

"It's ok to cry, you know. It will make you feel better."

Inside my mind, I debated for another short second, and then succumbed. Wrapping my arms around Aang shoulders, I released my anguish, confusion, sorrow and pain. Even I was surprised by the brittle state I was in. Perhaps it was the unforgettable memories that flashed through my head. Or perhaps it was something else.

"_Just let her go, and I'll give you the information you want."_

"_You heard your mother! Now get out of here!"_

"_Mom, I'm scared."_

"_Go find your dad sweetie; I'll handle this."_

_I'll handle this…_

Her last words to me. So long ago. And yet, I could still remember them, clear as day. I could remember every detail as I ran, helpless and young, away from my mother. I could smell the smoky scent of fire mixed with snow, see the black flakes fall from the sky, hear the sounds of fighting everywhere, taste the fear…

"_Dad! Quick! There is a man in our house!"_

"_Kya!"_

Even now I could hear the fear in my father's voice. We had rushed back toward the house, buffeted by the fight raging around us. When we had reached the tent, there was no one there.

"_Kya?"_

"_Daddy, where's Mommy?"_

"_Don't panic sweetheart; we'll find your Mom."_

"_Daddy, look!"_

The tent had looked innocent, untouched. There was nothing out of place. Nothing except a bloodstain in the snow.

"_No!"_

"_Mommy…"_

And then I had broken into tears. Just like now.

It took longer than I expected to cry myself out. But my sobs soon quieted, leaving behind nothing but my tearstained cheeks. And, with the disappearance of my tears, came comfort.

Aang wiped the remaining wetness from my cheeks. "Feeling a little bit better?"

I nodded slowly. "Sorry you had to see that. I'm not sure where it came from."

Aang shrugged. "Happy to help."

I had to admit his smile was infectious. I laughed slightly. It felt good to laugh.

I snuggled closer into his embrace. "You know, it was your voice I heard when I was with Yon Rha."

"Oh?"

"Let your anger out, and then let it go."

"Oh, that. I'm glad you took my advice."

"…Me too."

We spoke no more, listening to the moon and clouds and stars. With each lovely sound, the remaining pieces of my anger faded.

"Thank you," I whispered, kissing Aang on the cheek.

And, even in the darkness, I could see him blush.

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**Ahh...the joys of pointless fluff. So, what do you think? I'm probably going to edit this again...I'm not so good with oneshots ;)**

**Constructive criticism is **_**always **_**welcome!**

**Thank you for reading!**

**Kisses,**

**WingsofRain**


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